When Rest Feels Like a Luxury: How to Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down

Let me ask you something, sis—when was the last time you truly rested? And I don’t mean just collapsing in bed after running yourself ragged, scrolling through your phone until you pass out. I’m talking about the kind of rest where your soul exhales. Where you sit in stillness, guilt-free, and let yourself be.

If you can’t remember, I see you. And if rest feels more like a luxury than a necessity in your life, you’re not alone.

So many of us—especially as women—carry this invisible pressure to always do more. To achieve, to give, to keep it all together. Somewhere along the way, we bought into this lie that slowing down equals weakness, laziness, or falling behind. And yet, deep down, our bodies are begging us to pause and take a minute. 

I had to learn this the hard way. For so long, I wore my exhaustion like a badge of honor. I thought my worth was tied to how much I could juggle, how much pain I could push through, how many people I could show up for. But here’s the truth I had to face: if I don’t pour back into myself, I burn out. Period. And when I’m burned out, I can’t show up for anything or anyone—not even me.

Today, I want to have an honest conversation about why rest is not a luxury, why you deserve it without guilt, and how you can start giving yourself permission to slow down—no explanations, no apologies.

The Lie We’ve Been Sold About Rest

Somewhere along the line, rest got rebranded as “lazy.” Think about it—how often do you hear people brag about how tired they are, how busy they are, or how little sleep they’re running on? Exhaustion has become a twisted form of currency in our culture, a way to prove you’re grinding hard enough to be “worthy.”

But let’s call this out for what it is: a toxic cycle. Rest is not indulgent—it’s essential. Your body is not a machine. And even machines break down when they run nonstop.

What if instead of glorifying struggle and hustle, we glorified balance? What if we celebrated the woman who knows how to say, “I’ve done enough today, and now I choose peace”?

Rest Is More Than Just Sleep

Here’s the thing: rest isn’t just about getting eight hours of sleep (even though that’s important too). Rest comes in different forms, and sometimes the one you need most isn’t the one you’re giving yourself.

There’s physical rest (your body sleeping, napping, or just lying down).
There’s mental rest (stepping away from constant thinking, planning, and decision-making).
There’s emotional rest (allowing yourself to feel, release, and not always carry everyone else’s load).
And there’s spiritual rest (connecting back to your soul, whether that’s through meditation, prayer, or simply being in nature).

So if you’re finding yourself drained all the time, just ask yourself: what type of rest am I really craving? Sometimes it’s not a nap—it’s solitude. Sometimes it’s not another self-help podcast—it’s turning off the noise and sitting in silence.

Why Slowing Down Feels So Damn Hard

I know what you’re thinking: “Okay, that sounds good, but I literally don’t have time to slow down.”

I used to tell myself the same thing. But the truth? That was fear talking. Fear that if I slowed down, I’d fall behind. Fear that people would think I wasn’t strong enough. Fear that my worth would slip if I wasn’t constantly working on something.

But let me ask you—what exactly are you racing toward? And at what cost?

Slowing down doesn’t mean you lose momentum. It means you protect it. Think about it: athletes rest, singers rest their voices, even the sun rests when night comes. Why do we believe we’re the only ones who can push endlessly without consequences?

Giving Yourself Permission (Without Guilt)

So how do you actually give yourself permission to rest? Because let’s be real—it’s not always as easy as lighting a candle and calling it “self-care.”

Here are some mindset shifts and practices that helped me:

1. Reframe Rest as Productivity.
   Rest isn’t wasted time. It’s an investment. When you recharge, you return sharper, stronger, and more creative. Your rest is part of your work.

2. Release the Need to Explain.
   You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking time for yourself. “No” is a full sentence. So is, “I’m unavailable.”

3. Schedule Your Rest Like an Appointment.
   We keep every meeting and deadline, but we cancel on ourselves first. What if your rest time was non-negotiable, just like a doctor’s appointment?

4. Start Small.
   If slowing down feels foreign, begin with five minutes. Breathe. Stretch. Put your phone away. Build from there.

5. Listen to Your Body.
   Your body whispers before it screams. That tension, that fatigue, that irritability—it’s not random. It’s your body asking for pause. Honor it.

The Beauty of Softness

Here’s what I’ve learned: rest makes me softer. And softness is not weakness—it’s power.

For years, I thought strength meant staying in survival mode, powering through pain, and never letting myself stop. But real strength is knowing when to step back. It’s choosing not to let the world drain every ounce of you.

When you allow yourself softness—whether that’s lying in the sun, reading a book, or just breathing without rushing—you reconnect to your true self. You stop running from life and start living it.

Rest Is Revolutionary

For women, especially, rest can feel radical. Why? Because society has conditioned us to serve, give, hustle, and sacrifice until we’re empty. Choosing to rest is an act of resistance. It says: My worth is not measured by my output. My existence is enough.

Think about that. Every time you choose rest, you’re breaking generational patterns. You’re teaching the women around you—your friends, your sisters, maybe your daughters—that it’s safe to slow down.

And that is powerful.

Final Thoughts: Rest Without Apology

So I want you to hear me on this—your rest is not selfish. It’s sacred. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to claim it.

You are not falling behind. You are not weak for needing a pause. You are human. And being human means you require care, gentleness, and yes—rest.

So the next time you feel that guilt creep in when you slow down, remind yourself: Rest is my right, not a reward.

Take the nap. Put your phone on silent. Say no without a paragraph-long excuse. Let the dishes wait.

Because when you protect your rest, you protect your peace. And when you protect your peace, you protect your power.

And that’s the kind of energy we’re carrying forward from now on. ✨