The Stops, Turns, and Detours: Embracing the Messy Journey

Life rarely follows the straight line we once imagined. If you’re like me, you probably had a vision for how things would unfold: school, career, relationships, maybe a family, and then happily ever after. But reality? It laughed at my plans and handed me a map full of stops, turns, breakdowns on the side of the road, and detours I never saw coming.

And here’s the truth I’ve learned—those messy parts aren’t proof that I failed. They’re proof that I’m still moving.

When the Road Doesn’t Match the Map

I used to think if I hit a detour, it meant I was doing something wrong. Sobriety, for instance, wasn’t even on my “map.” I never planned to become the girl who had to stop drinking just to save her own life. But here I am. What I thought was the worst dead end turned into the road that finally gave me peace.

And isn’t that how life works? The road we resist most is often the one that brings us back home to ourselves.

Stops That Saved Me

Sometimes we’re forced to stop. Rock bottom, heartbreak, financial struggles—those are the pit stops that feel humiliating in the moment. But they often save us. My “stop” came the day I realized my version of fun was destroying everything I loved. Pausing felt like defeat, but in hindsight, it was the first act of self-respect I’d ever given myself.

Stops aren’t signs you’re stuck. They’re signals to rest, reset, and gather the strength for what’s next.

Turns That Tested Me

The turns are trickier. Those sharp corners life throws at us—divorces, friendships that fade, career changes—make us feel like we’re veering off course. But each turn is a chance to practice flexibility.

When I stopped people-pleasing, for example, that turn in my relationships left me lonelier than I expected. But it also taught me the difference between being liked and being loved. Turns test you, but they also teach you to steer with intention instead of autopilot.

Detours That Redefined Me

Detours are the most frustrating. They take longer. They feel inconvenient. But they often lead us somewhere way more beautiful than where we were originally headed.

Sobriety was my greatest detour. It rerouted me away from chaos and toward clarity. It forced me to create new routines, new friendships, and new ways to celebrate life. Was it inconvenient? Absolutely. Did it redefine me? Without a doubt.

What felt like punishment turned out to be protection.

The Beauty in the Mess

Here’s the thing: none of us escape the stops, turns, and detours. They’re part of the package deal of being human. But the messy journey is where the growth happens. Straight, predictable roads might get you somewhere fast, but they rarely make you strong.

Every wrong turn gave me grit. Every stop gave me perspective. Every detour gave me depth. And when I zoom out, I see that none of it was wasted—it all wove together to create the path I’m walking today.

Choosing to Embrace It

I used to crave control, thinking I could plan my way into perfection. But perfection is boring. Perfection has no stories, no resilience, no scars that turn into wisdom.

So now, I embrace the mess. I honor the fact that my journey is mine—not neat, not predictable, but meaningful.

If you’re in the middle of a stop, turn, or detour right now, I hope you know this: it’s not the end of your story. It’s just a chapter. The messy parts aren’t the enemy—they’re the evidence that you’re still alive, still growing, still becoming.

And honestly? The messy journey is usually the most beautiful one.

Final thoughts:

Don't despise the stops. Don’t fear the turns. Don’t curse the detours. They’re shaping you into someone you wouldn’t have become on a straight path. 🌹⛓💥