How I Learned to Love My Body Without Losing Weight First

 

For as long as I can remember, my love for my body was conditional.

“I’ll love myself when I lose 20 pounds.”

“I’ll wear that outfit when my stomach is flat.”

“I’ll feel confident when my arms don’t jiggle.”

Sound familiar?

I spent years chasing the idea of “body goals” before I allowed myself to even feel good in my own skin. I swore up and down that self-love had to be earned. That I had to punish my body into a shape worthy of love, respect, and acceptance.

But here’s what no one tells you:

You can hate your body into a smaller size, but you’ll still hate it when you get there.

This, coming from someone that has literally been every size. From gaining 86 pounds to losing 120. But, at every step of the way I had to relearn how to love my body.

Because loving your body has nothing to do with its size and everything to do with your mindset.

The Turning Point

One day, I was looking through old photos of myself from years ago. Back then, I was thinner. My stomach was flatter, my arms were smaller, and my face looked leaner. But what I remembered most from that time was how much I hated my body then, too.

I realized something life-changing in that moment:

No matter how small I got, I never felt good enough. Because the problem wasn’t my body. The problem was the voice in my head that told me I wasn’t worthy until I looked a certain way.

That day, I decided to try something drastic.

I decided to start loving my body as it was.

Not after I lost weight.

Not after I toned up.

Not after I fit back into those jeans.

But right now. In its softness. In its stretch marks. In its rolls and curves and jiggles.

How I Started Loving My Body Before Losing Weight

Here’s what helped me shift my mindset and start embracing my body without changing its size first:

1. I Unfollowed Anyone Who Made Me Hate Myself

Social media was a major trigger for me. Fitness influencers posting “what I eat in a day” videos with 1,200-calorie meal plans. Perfectly posed bikini photos with captions pretending to be relatable. Weight loss ads every other scroll.

I unfollowed them all. Instead, I filled my feed with women who looked like me. Women living their best lives. Women wearing crop tops with confidence. Women eating food without guilt. Women who radiated freedom.

Representation matters. Seeing people love their bodies at all sizes showed me that it was possible for me, too.

2. I Stopped Calling My Body “Good” or “Bad”

I used to wake up and think, “Ugh, I feel so fat today,” or “I look disgusting in this.”

Now, I speak to my body with fairness first.

Instead of judging it, I observe it.

“This is my stomach today. It’s here, holding my organs, helping me breathe deeply.”

“These are my arms. They let me hug the people I love.”

Body neutrality helped me bridge the gap between hate and love. It taught me that my body is not a moral issue. It’s just my body – and it’s doing its job.

3. I Moved My Body For Joy, Not Punishment

Exercise used to be punishment for what I ate.

“Burn off those calories.”

“Work off that dessert.”

Now, I move my body because it feels good. I dance in my room with the music blasting. I take walks in the sun, feeling the breeze on my skin. I stretch because it relieves tension in my back. I lift weights because feeling strong makes me feel unstoppable.

Exercise is no longer about making my body smaller. It’s about making my life bigger.

4. I Wore The Damn Outfit

For years, I told myself I’d wear crop tops, shorts, bikinis, and tight dresses when I lost weight. One day, I asked myself, “What if I just wore it now?”

So I did. I was nervous as hell, tugging at my shirt every two minutes, but as the day went on, I realized no one cared about my stomach as much as I did. The world didn’t end. I didn’t spontaneously combust because my stomach wasn’t flat.

Wearing the clothes I loved made me feel confident because I was finally showing up as my full self, not hiding behind baggy hoodies and shame.

5. I Started Eating Like Someone Who Loved Their Body

When I hated my body, I either starved it or overfed it with junk to cope with my emotions. Neither was love.

Now, I ask myself before I eat, “What does my body need right now?” Sometimes it needs veggies and protein. Sometimes it needs chocolate and rest. Eating from a place of love means nourishing my body while also enjoying food without guilt or shame.

6. I Challenged My Negative Thoughts

Whenever I caught myself thinking, “I hate my thighs,” I’d ask:

Why do I hate them?

Who told me thighs like mine were unlovable?

Would I say this to a friend?

Most of the time, the answer was: Society told me to hate them.

That realization made me angry. To choose love and acceptance over a system profiting off my self-hate.

7. I Focused On What My Body Can Do, Not Just How It Looks

My body carries me through life every single day. It lets me hug my loved ones, dance in my kitchen, walk my dog, laugh until my stomach hurts, and breathe deeply on stressful days.

Your body is a vessel, not an ornament. Treating it with gratitude shifts everything.

8. I Gave Myself Permission To Take Up Space

I spent most of my life trying to shrink myself. To be smaller, quieter, easier to love. Learning to take up space – physically and emotionally – was revolutionary for me.

Now, I walk into rooms with my head high. I speak up without apologizing. I exist without trying to make myself smaller for someone else’s comfort.

9. I Realized Losing Weight Doesn’t Guarantee Happiness

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight for health or comfort. But believing it’s the key to happiness is a lie. Happiness comes from within. From acceptance. From rejecting society’s impossible standards and embracing who you are right now.

10. I Started Loving Myself Because I Deserve Love – Period

At the end of the day, I learned this:

I don’t need to lose weight to deserve love, respect, joy, or peace.

I don’t need to change my body to feel beautiful or worthy.

I deserve all those things just as I am, right now, today.

And so do you.

Learning to love my body without losing weight first set me free. It unchained me from years of self-hate and punishment. It allowed me to show up in my life with confidence, joy, and peace – no matter what the scale says.

If you’re reading this and still waiting to love your body “when you lose weight,” I hope this is your sign to stop waiting. Life is too short to spend it hating the body carrying you through it.

🌹✨ Stay unchained, stay grounded, and keep choosing love over shame – today and every day.